It's a local holiday here today -- "DÃa de AndalucÃa." With classes cancelled I decided to get out of the house early and track down one of the few Cafés with wifi. Try as I may to adapt to the local culture, I am still a student and the struggle continues to find spaces a) with wifi and b) that are open when I need them.
Aside from that snag in my adjustment, the last handful of days have taken on a new rhythm. There is still a feeling of new-ness here as I continue trying new cafés, learning new routes around the city, researching travel tips, and grasping at all the new vocabulary. The weather, unfortunately, has not held the same excitement---it has turned rainy lately and it's all I can do to hope ahead for sun and spring. I am, after all, a Michigan girl through and through so I believe I can make it through any amount of glum weather knowing the best is yet to come. In the meantime I'll be wrestling the wind with my umbrella and hoping we don't freeze on our trip north to Madrid this weekend!
Aside from those basic updates, I've also been sitting with some new thoughts. It's over a month now that I'm building a life across the sea and (spoiler alert) February is February no matter where you are in the world. That's to say, clouds still roll in here every few days, dragging down my mood, and no matter how cute my bullet journal is for the week I still have responsibilities to manage. I read something this week that really resonated with me:
we live in a culture enamored with highlight reels, a culture that doesn't give attention or credit to the unglamorous moments of going through life
I think that rings true to the prevailing idea of study abroad experiences, too. We (students, families, well-intentioned friends) expect these 4 months to be "the best of our lives" and rather than being an encouragement, that belief becomes an unreachable expectation. When I was first thinking about going abroad, I wasn't motivated by the unreachable expectation to live the most fashionable, adventurous, picture-worthy life, but rather I was motivated by the opportunity for growth. I think I've lost sight of that goal somewhat amidst the initial flurry of moving across the pond and trying to settle into an entirely new place and somehow, somehow immediately live up to the expectation of living my very best life...whatever that looks like. My first month in Spain has rung true to my initial expectation of growth, it just hasn't been the highlight reel our culture might expect it to be. I've lived the highs of hitting the road to see new cities or trying new foods in my neighborhood, but I've just as much lived the lows of missing loved ones, feeling frustrated by basic cultural differences, and just shedding the odd tear in that confusing mix of emotions. With the start of a new month ahead, I hope to realign myself with that initial intention of growth. More than trying to live an impossible highlight reel, I want my time studying abroad experience to be all shades of unique, curious, challenging, and changing.
I think the task of returning to a intention of growth comes back to faith. In recent weeks I have gone to Mass twice at local churches and, despite not being Catholic myself, I have enjoyed both experiences. I've gone more out of curiosity than connection and, while the services themselves haven't resonated with me, the reflective time spent with the Lord has been an important centering moment in my weeks. In those moments the mental clutter has thinned and I can breath for a moment remembering who I am and whose I am. For me, it's time to be reminded that I am held by a greater Love and through whatever highs or lows I am secure in Grace. I intend to go to more services in the future but I'm also trying to cultivate that mindset in other moments by centering back to an awareness of the Lord's presence in and around me. With that truth anchoring my thoughts I hope to keep trailblazing my very own, very imperfect path.
Last weekend our program went to Córdoba for the day and I learned some pretty neat things about the religious/cultural history there. The art and architecture alone tells a story and I am so thankful for the opportunity to take my education out of the classroom and learn from the real deal! Pictured: exploring the Alcázar de los Reyes Cristianos in Córdoba with our program director, Javier. He is also my professor for Spanish Theater!
The famous Mezquita--Catedral in Córdoba. There are centuries of history here with religious groups creating, changing, and re-designing the space to reflect their beliefs but I preferred the humbler architecture of the Mezquita portion
Exploring new sunset views in Granada